Blueberry Muffins & The Cross

~ Blueberry Muffins & The Cross ~

This is a candid story about church planting, Gods love, and a Sunday that changed my life...

 One Sunday, about a year ago, we expected a good turn out of people. We were suppose to have a new family come and even though we hadn't had good attendance recently, we had been inviting everyone we could, passing out lots of tracts, praying, and just working hard for the Lord . 

I was so excited and hopeful and full of faith - excited to see the fruit of our labour!!!

Well...   

hopes dashed...

we only had 2 people show up, which I DO count my blessings for, don't take me wrong, I just had higher expectations.

Its just that I had  prayed SOOOOOO hard that week - for the service, for visitors, for Neil's message, for my special music.  I had so much faith that things were going to go well and that God would bring us more people to minister to...  

I woke up that rainy Sunday morning and my spirits were high, I stood outside in the bitter cold for a while, before sunday school, and specifically prayed for everyone- prayed that God would bind Satan and that there would be no excuses for people to not come. You know? those really specific, heartfelt prayers(almost begging God).   

The rain could be a deterrent, but I knew God could bring people even then. HOWEVER, no one else came and my heart was so saddened throughout the song service and announcements. 

I forced a smile as I played piano.

I walked up to sing my special and by the time I was finished singing my song, "The Cross", I was overwhelmed by emotion and just sat down and sobbed as quietly as I could.  I pulled myself together pretty quickly so I could put on a happy smile and be an encouragement  and support to Neil as he began to preach.   

I tried to pay attention, but my mind was distracted with SO MANY thoughts... 

"Why can't people just come" 

"I didn't feel like it, but i made refreshments anyway"

"My special music matched the sermon perfectly" 

"Lord, are we missing something?" 

"I'd really like to see results" 

"Only TWO people will enjoy my blueberry muffins AND they're good muffins too, AND I sacrificed time to make them, AND...on and on..."  

So as you can see I was obviously reacting in the flesh, disappointed, and upset. 

I saw my husband up there preaching his heart out! I thought, "That must be hard to preach to just 3 people and we are all saved. I complained to the Lord, "Lord, why can't there be unsaved people here to hear this sermon."   

I was so distracted, but I pulled my attention back to my husband and tried to listen.

The sermon was on Knowing Jesus Christ & His passion for the cross. 

AND RIGHT THEN God began to work an amazing change in my heart...  

By God's grace, I began to pray for my husband and really TRULY began to listen to his message. I realized that I needed the preaching from God's word just as much as the unsaved. 

He was preaching on the cross - Christ sacrificed for ME, He loved ME, he died for ME, He cared deeply for ME(the one who is sitting here complaining).  I have SO much to be grateful for because Christ suffered ALL for me and my only suffering right now is that only 2 people will be able to enjoy my blueberry muffins!!! Haha! 

Because GOD extends this deep personal love for me, then He must know my great disappointment and sadness right now, in this moment. 

He knows me. 

He loves me. 

He won't give me anything I can't handle... 

I'll be OK : )    

I had been sitting in my chair having a pitty party, but that quickly changed to having a praise party for all God's goodness in my life. I was saved. I was loved by Him -that's all I needed!

What a sweet Sunday it was!

PS  - Hubby and I had yummy blueberry muffins to snack on for a few days : ) Mmmmmm

PPS -  Every time you eat a blueberry muffin remember HOW MUCH God loves you!!!

PPPS - Sing "Jesus Loves Me" right now...I double dog dare you : )lol

SMILE GOD LOVES YOU ~ REJOICE IN THE LORD




Walking by Faith,
DeAna

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"In My Shoes" 

Is

 On My Heart

So "In My Shoes" is on my heart...
the matter of my blog has been weighing heavy on my mind and been in my prayers a LOT lately.

I question many things:
I struggle with consistancy... Should I keep writing... Is it helping anyone... am I a good enough writer... etc...

Just being honest here - I've been dealing with so many unknowns and insecurities and I've been taking them to the Lord.
*This is no means meant to be a pity party or an attention getter in any way, I'm just sharing my heart with you.

I'm being transparent. 

I'm being honest. 

So, I'm not the type of writer that just blabs my thoughts and presses "publish". I tend to mull over it  for hours or even days and weeks - correcting each tiny mistake, analyzing, and perfecting every angle. But for this I decided to just chat and "throw" my thoughts down : ) haha!  And I will force myself to just press "Publish" when I'm done typing this : ) haha

I started my blog to help others, to encourage others in The Lord, as I, myself was going through life's struggles and learning how God loves us and wants us to approach trials. I love to write and so
I thought it would be a good way for me to release my emotions, but also minister to others.

BUT...
I've struggled with the techy aspect,
I think... "others can write better"
I feel like I can't be consistent many times because of my health or our spontaneous lifestyle
I start to feel insecure & vulnerable to share my true feelings, so I delay posting
I tend to write emotionally, so I have to be in the "right" mood to post...
So, as a whole, the blog has just NOT been easy for me! :(

As I have pondered and prayed, God has graciously helped me learn 4 things about myself:

1. I need to keep doing this blog and not cancel it!!!
God wants me to continue and I truly believe Satan has fought my blog cause he doesn't want me to be a blessing to anyone. SO I will continue and will be careful to give GOD the glory for any good that comes from it.

2. I'm an emotional writer!!!
I can't just pop out a nice article on a weekly bases like clockwork. This blog is based on my heart, my emotions, and what God lays on my heart. I've always tried to NOT do things based on emotions, but for my blog I've realized that's how I tend to write and God told me that's OK.

3. Many times my thoughts come at night!!!!
My ideas tend to come to fruition at night. Lucky me : ) haha.  Sometimes I put it off cause I don't want to get up, but then I lose it, so I've learned for me that I NEED to write when I feel inspired NO MATTER WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS.

4. I'm NOT like everyone else!!!!!
Others may have cuter blogs, or update more, or be better writers, or understand the techy side maintaining blogs, BUT  I have to be WHO God has created me to be. I don't have to be the best, i just have to do MY best for Jesus. I just need to be me and...

by just being me I so strongly desire that I can bless you.

FRIENDS, Many of you have been such sweet supporters and encouragers of my blog and also to me personally. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! 

May we continue to love and encourage each other in the LORD. He has done great things for us...may we continue to serve Him and love him with our whole hearts. 

Have a great day, 

embrace today,

be thankful, 

and...

BE WHO GOD WANTS YOU TO BE!!!

Love 

DeAna

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