HOPING & COPING
(part one - "hoping")
"But I will hope continually. . ." ~ Psalm 71:14
~Written March 2014
~Posted December 2014
~Posted December 2014
So much of dealing with infertility is just dealing with all the emotions - the anger, the hurt, the emptiness, the frustration, sensitivity, guilt, etc...
And many times, you just don't know how to feel or what to do to cope (*see Infertility Support info. below)
You feel guilty for desiring.
You try to push the feelings away.
You don't want to hope because you don't want your hopes to be dashed.
You get frustrated because you realize how sensitive you are.
It can be overwhelming and the despair can consume you.
I read an article once that encouraged me to HOPE!!! I thought and prayed on that subject for weeks and the Lord taught me so much...
At one point I knew God was telling me to JUST HOPE. In fact I learned later, that God was really telling me to HAVE FAITH! In Hebrews chapter 11 it says, "Faith IS the substance of things "HOPED" FOR..." I NEEDED to allow myself to dream and hope and BE HAPPY and ultimately just trust God & rest in Him - to HAVE FAITH!!! God revealed to me that living a life in hope is much better and easier than living in sadness and self pity. In fact, living with anxiety, worry, stress, sadness, self pity, and negativity, is living a life of SIN...OUCH! "But without FAITH it IS impossible to please HIM!" I needed to hope in Christ!!!
To be honest, though, I didn't want to!!!!!!
I didn't want to hope!!!!
I didn't want to hope just to be disappointed once again!!!!
When I got my heart right and decided to hope the trial DID become easier. When I CHOSE to think differently, the emotional battle changed.
Of course I was still disappointed at times, but coping was easier as I learned more about hoping in God...
With infertility there is a given cycle of emotions.
Usually it goes something like this...
Sadness.
Negative test.
Sadness.
False alarm.
Sadness.
Discouragement.
Sadness.
Tears.
Sadness.
But I decided that, with God's help, I'd strive to go about it this way...
Hope.
Negative test.
Negative test.
Hope.
False alarm.
Hope.
Discouragement.
Hope.
Tears.
HOPE!!!
HOPE!!!
Disappointments and hard days will come, but I'd rather live a good life inbetween the hard days instead of being depressed inbetween the hard days...
God doesn't want us to live heavy hearted. He wants our joy to be FULL. As I hope for a child, I prepare, I learn, I buy little baby items for the future; THAT gives me joy, and God strengthens me as I hope in Him.
I like this quote from the book "Jesus Calling"...
"Hope is like a golden cord connecting you to heaven,
"Hope is like a golden cord connecting you to heaven,
the more you cling to this cord,
the more God bears the weight of your burden"
Walking by Faith,
DeAna
*INFERTILITY PRAYER SUPPORT MINISTRY
When I counsel with ladies on this subject I tell them that 3 things are vitally important:
1. Having a friend who is ALSO going through infertility whom you can talk to
2. Finding some coping outlets that work for you (I will share about this in Part 2)
3. PRAYER support
1. Having a friend who is ALSO going through infertility whom you can talk to
2. Finding some coping outlets that work for you (I will share about this in Part 2)
3. PRAYER support
"For about 5 years, each Tuesday, I prayed for my friend Becky to conceive and I remember hearing the wonderful news and rejoicing over her first blessing of a child. Now God has given them a second baby boy! Hallelujah!!! God is good!!!
I still set aside Tuesdays to pray for many of my friends that I know would love to be blessed with a baby.
If you are struggling with infertiltiy and want me to add you to my Tuesday list, PLEASE private message me on FB, or email me. I would love to encourage you and pray for you.(shoesdw@gmail.com)" ~DeAna
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